you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
