Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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