ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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