ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize