I will die if light touches me.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How drunk are you?
Completed.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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