end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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