just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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