Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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