He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
