Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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