I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
