dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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