Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
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Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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