Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you had me at cake vodka
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
