: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
