Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
