Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Randomize
