please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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