And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
