I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
