Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
