She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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