do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There are leaves in my underwear?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
