last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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