Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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