do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
