So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
