I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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