You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
