Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
