So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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