so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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