Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
