Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Vodka?
Forever.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
