Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
