She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
