Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
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I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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