One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just threw up on my dentist
He kissed a someone with a penis
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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