the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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