Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We're too hungover to prance.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
