In the future we'll all be gay
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
