You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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