i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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