now i know why i became what i already was.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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