did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
