i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize