Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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