Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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