idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
