Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
