Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
