yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
