Pants 0. Shit 1.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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