do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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