How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
