oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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