you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
