worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
