Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
