i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
