What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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