I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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