I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You are a genius and a whore.
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