Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize