i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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